There’s one (tiny) neighborhood in Disney World that just might be the sketchiest community in the world.
Yes, we’re talking about the Tiny Train Town in the Germany Pavilion, where we’ve witnessed criminal behavior, outright lawlessness, and, dare we say…MURDER? Yes, tragedy has fallen upon the citizens of Tiny Train Town yet again…but DFB is on the case!
We decided to pay a visit to the Tiny Train Town, and once again, we were met with disaster. First, we think someone had a little too much to drink at the pub because he’s literally fallen face-first into the dirt. Or maybe he got unruly in the pub, and the bouncers tossed him out. Either way, he might need some help.
Also, have you ever heard the phrase that marriage can be murder? Well…this guy just got married, and it, apparently, killed him. There’s the bride just standing there…doing NOTHING. Is she a wanna-be Constance Hatchaway? Did she just push him out the door and down the stairs? We feel bad for this poor wedding guest who thought she was just witnessing a wedding.
These two men got into a really big tussle, and it looks like they managed to knock each other out. Can’t these Tiny Town Train citizens just get along? (The answer is “no,” because this town is like something out of the Wild West, and they are ALWAYS up to no good).
Anyway, we also witnessed someone who got kicked to the curb…well, more like OFF the curb. Look at that woman sitting so calmly there — we think she might’ve pushed him. The guy kneeling behind her looks suspect, doesn’t he? Is he trying to hide? He ain’t seen nothin’, officer (who are we kidding? There are NO cops in Tiny Train Town — we think the citizens scared them off).
Here’s the thing that concerned us the most about our recent visit to the Tiny Train Town. All of these men in white look like the Jammitors. Wait…has anyone seen the Jammitors recently? Has Tiny Train Town gotten to them?!?!?!?!
However, the murder spree seems to have spread to this man and his cow, too. Like, who would do that? We’ll tell you who…someone who lives in Tiny Train Town. It’s okay, farmer Mike and Bessie…we’ll get to the bottom of this and find out who did this to you! We do think that the lizard on the roof is looking mighty suspicious.
Needless to say, this is the most dangerous neighborhood in Disney World, and we’re just going to put out a tourism advisory suggesting no one visits here until we get to the bottom of all this crime.
We’ll keep an eye on Tiny Train Town for you and keep you updated, so be sure to stick around for more episodes of “Chaos in Tiny Train Town” (working title for our soon-to-be true crime Tiny Town podcast). Oh, and if you spot any criminal misdeeds in Tiny Train Town in the meantime, send ’em our way!
Have you witnessed a crime in Tiny Train Town? Report it in the comments!
The post EPCOT’s Tiny Train Town Is (Still) a Hive of Scum and Villainy 🕵️ but We’re on the Case! first appeared on the disney food blog.