The Disney difference. There are a number of things the Disney Parks do that sets them apart. Theming. Detail. Storytelling. But also scripts! While we remember the amusing pirates, soaring over London in a pixie-dusted pirate ship, and the feeling of losing our stomach in an elevator shaft long after we’ve left the parks, what we hear on these attractions stays with us too.
If you’ve been to Disney World before, you no doubt have heard and repeated “Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas” while riding the Monorail. It’s just one of the many phrases and spiels heard on Disney property that becomes synonymous with our vacation experience and part of the Disney fan vernacular. So, the question is, just how many attractions have scripts that we fans love to quote? There’s actually more than you might think!
We previously covered the Most Quotable Disney World Attractions at Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom, so come along with me as I take a look at the Most Quotable Disney World Attractions at EPCOT and Magic Kingdom!
Spaceship Earth broke the castle-mold and was the first to pull double-duty as both a park icon and an attraction show building! Spaceship Earth as an attraction has experienced several refurbs since its 1982 debut, but its current script narrated by Judi Dench has become as timeless as the attraction itself and as memorable as the smell of burning Rome. (If you know, you know.)
“Remember how easy it was to learn your ABC’s? Thank the Phoenicians, they invented them.” – Judi Dench
“Like a grand miraculous spaceship, our planet has sailed through the universe of time.” – Judi Dench
The perfect blend of relaxation and exhilaration, Soarin’ Around the World replaced the original California-centric Soarin’ back in 2016 and we’ve been unable to accept its crooked Eiffel Tower ever since. Thankfully, the original pre-show host Patrick Warburton (he also voices Kronk in The Emperor’s New Groove!), and his signature script, remained.
“When the doors to your flight open, please take a seat and store all carry-on items in the under-seat compartment. This includes cameras, purses, hats, and of course, these little beauties.” – Patrick
“Nice work pal!” – Patrick
“Soarin’ to tower, we’re ready for takeoff.” – Patrick
Pirates of the Caribbean
You know I had to. Pirates of the Caribbean is one of the most quotable attractions of all time! Apart from its earworm of a theme song, landlubber guests have repeated “Dead man tell no tales” and the now-retired “We wants the redhead” spiel for generations. But there are others you’ve probably said a time or two as well.
“Do not tell him, Carlos. Don’t be chee-ken!” – Carlos’ wife
“Ye come seekin’ adventure and salty old pirates, eh? Sure, you come to the proper place.” – Disembodied, mounted Pirate Skull
Home to 999 happy haunts, the Haunted Mansion is yet another iconic Magic Kingdom attraction whose script is a literal marvel.
“When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls.” – Ghost Host
“Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host.” – Ghost Host. Again.
“Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination?” – Ghost Host (Sensing a pattern?)
“Do not pull down on the safety bar, please. I will lower it for you.” – Ghost Host. (I’ll stop now.)
Carousel of Progress
The definition of classic. Carousel of Progress tells the story of an American family experiencing progress throughout the 20th Century! It’s old school, but oh-so-charming and should be protected at all costs.
“There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow. Shining at the end of every day.” – “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” song written by the Sherman Brothers.
“No privacy at all around this place!” – Uncle Orville
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
This runaway mine train is both hilarious and thrilling, but the safety spiel for this modern classic is just as memorable as the ride itself!
“If any of you folks are wearin’ hats or glasses, best remove ’em—’cause this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness!”
A Disney Park staple, the Jungle Cruise is known for its vintage charm and “punny” skippers. Nowadays, the star of the attraction is what the skippers have to say!
“If you want to take pictures, go ahead. All the elephants have their trunks on.” – Jungle Cruise Skipper
“Ladies and gentlemen, the eighth wonder of the world, the backside of water!” – Jungle Cruise Skipper
“Here’s Trader Sam. He’s our head salesman in the jungle. He’s got a pretty good deal for you guys today…two of his heads for just one of yours. Either way you slice it, you’ll always come out a-head.” – Also Jungle Cruise Skipper
Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room
Where all the bird sing words and the flowers croon, the original Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland is known as the first Disney attraction to utilize audio-animatronics.
“Buenos Dias, Senorita. My siestas are getting shorter and shorter.” – Jose
Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover
This 10 minute, elevated tour of Tomorrowland is a cult classic with Disney park fans and offers a glimpse at what the future could’ve been. If you too have experienced this attraction on the regular, you probably have quoted this line a time or two.
“Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow. Please contact Mr. Johnson in the control room to confirm your flight to the moon.” – Disembodied Tomorrowland Voice
Quotable Defunct Attractions (R.I.P)
Maelstrom: “Back! Over the falls!”
Ellen’s Universe of Energy: “Stupid Judy. Stupid Energy.”
Spaceship Earth, the Jeremy Irons version: “The Rrrrenaissance…”
IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth: “I hope you enjoy our story tonight, Reflections of Earth. (Blows out flame).”
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Have any favorite line that you think should make this list? Let us know in the comments.
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